Category: Tips

Here are some tips to help you on your self-care journey

7 Most Common Self Care Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

So you have started your self care journey but it isn’t going quite as you expected? You may be making one of the 7 common self care mistakes and don’t even know it.

Trust me, I know what it’s like, I’ve been there. More often than I’d like to admit.

In this article, I will get into every one of them, and I’ll show you how to avoid them.

What Are Self Care Mistakes?

If you feel that self care isn’t quite working for you, maybe it’s because you are too strict with it. Or you may be too strict with yourself.

Self care is about making space, being patient and learning self compassion.

If you feel stuck, it may be because you are treating it too much like a job. And this is the exact opposite of what you want.

Don’t worry, we’ll get into all the self care mistakes you might be making, and I’ll show you how to avoid them.

I know “self care mistakes” sounds scary, but there’s no need to panic. This article isn’t supposed to show you yet another thing you are doing wrong. It’s supposed to be a tool to help you out on your journey, and make your work a lot easier.

So without further ado, let’s get into it!

1. Bubble Baths Are Not Self Care

This is the most common misconception people have about self care.

It’s true, it may be pleasant in the moment. And there is nothing wrong with treating yourself once in a while. But a bubble bath won’t work for your long term wellbeing.

Self care is about sustained effort. It is about creating a routine that’s beneficial for your physical and emotional health.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against treating yourself to a slice of chocolate cake, while watching your favourite comfort movie. I don’t object to a hot bath after a long day. But please don’t mistake this for self care, and don’t expect it to make you feel better on the long run.

2. Having Unrealistic Expectations

Self care covers many aspects, and there is a lot that goes into it. It can mean physical, emotional, social, spiritual self care and so on.

One of the most common self care mistakes people make, is trying to do everything at the same time. I am guilty of it. I used to stack up as many self care routines as I could in a day. And then felt guilty when I failed.

If you are starting out, don’t try to cram everything in your daily routine. You will get overwhelmed and, within a couple of days, you will feel like a failure.

Try to introduce new routines one by one. Then only add new ones when the old ones are habit and don’t require any effort to maintain.

For more ideas on how to begin your self care journey, check out this article here:

Best Strategy to Begin Your Self Care Journey and Stick to It

3. Treating It Like a Job

Another mistake you might be making is treating your self care journey like you would a job. This means putting pressure on yourself to tick off everything you decided to do in a day.

I used to do this all the time. Every day I would set goals for myself. I would force myself to

meditate
work out
socialize
eat healthy
do breathing exercises

I would have to hit all these targets on my to-do list every day and I would feel disappointed if I didn’t.

This is the best recipe for failure. There’s a reason why its called “care”. You’re supposed to care for yourself, not stress yourself out even more. So if your self care journey feels like a chore, it most likely is.

Try to be more forgiving with yourself. Give yourself space and be patient. Self care is not supposed to be another to-do list that you have to tick off at the end of the day.

4. Only Focusing on One Aspect of Self Care

As I said earlier, self care has many aspects and it requires a holistic approach.

Going to therapy is self care, but so is regular exercise or nurturing your relationships. If you are only focusing on one aspect, you might be missing out on the benefits of self care.

It’s great that you are doing your meditation practice every morning. But if you are not looking after your body, that can affect your mental health. Everything is connected.

For your overall wellbeing, you should look after your mental, emotional and physical health.

I know that sounds like a lot of work. But you can begin with small steps and build up from there.

5. Not Asking for Help

One of the most common self care mistakes people make is trying to do it all on their own.

The world we live in has pushed us to be more and more individualistic. To the point where we’re afraid or ashamed to ask for help. I don’t know about you, but I always hesitate to ask for help from others. It feels like I’m being a nuisance.

But we are social animals. We are meant to live in tribes, to co-exist. We are supposed to help each other out and to depend on each other. We connect when we work together.

Try to get over the fear of asking. If you don’t know how to, here’s how it worked for me:

Think back on the last time someone asked you for help.
How did you feel?
Were happy to be of use?

Chances are the answer is yes. Because we like to feel needed. The idea that others feel bothered by our needs is often only in our heads.

Most people, decent people, are happy to help. As for the rest, you don’t want them in your life anyway.

6. Not Being Consistent

Like with everything, consistency is key. You cannot see results if you don’t make a practice and stick to it.

I understand that this might be challenging, since we are always busy. It’s hard to cram new habits and practices into an already busy schedule.

This is why I always recommend to take it slowly.

Start with small steps and keep at it.

It’s more efficient than going at it in leaps and bounds. Focus on small habits and do them consistently. The results will be instantaneous. I promise, it works every time!

7. Learning Instead of Practising

If you are reading this article about self care mistakes, that’s great. Learn what you need from it. But then go do it!

Information without practice is useless.

You are not working on your self care because you are reading about it.

It’s easy to fall into this trap. Consuming content and info on something is great. It teaches you what you need to know, and the internet is a wonderful tool for learning.

But one of the downsides is that it’s meant to keep you engaged at all times. You are supposed to spend your time consuming content, instead of going out there and living your life.

If you are not applying what you have learnt, you are wasting your time.

So start now.

Begin a new practice now.

Improve on it as you go.

Learn along the way.

Just do!

Conclusion

If you have been making some of these self care mistakes, that’s ok. This is how we learn. But now you know how to fix it.

Remember that you are doing it for yourself. There is no audience, no pressure and no finish line.

It takes time. Self care is a practice, not a race. You’re not trying to prove anything. And it’s not supposed to be perfect, whatever “perfect” means.

Learn to be patient with yourself, and stay consistent.

Have you made any of these self care mistakes on your self care journey? How did you deal with them? Please share your experience, and any tips & tricks in the comments!

5 Daily Habits to Help You Break Out of Burnout

This article will tackle a few habits that can help you in your effort to break out of burnout. Burnout is a growing issue in modern society. We have fast-paced lives, demanding jobs and endless responsibilities.

At the same time, we are overwhelmed by the expectations we place on ourselves. We have to look our best, have the perfect vacation and be perfect in our relationships.

This is a lot to ask from a mere human being. And sometimes we can lose ourselves in the maze of expectations, real or imagined.

To break out of burnout, you need to re-think the way you approach your everyday life. Changing your mindset starts with changing your habits. What you do every day makes up who you are and how you see the world.

I will teach you how to install small habits, which are easy to incorporate in your day. These habits will help you re-frame your thinking and your priorities.

Your purpose is to create breathing space and focus on your well-being. You do that through

daily (and fun!) activities that help you re-center
changing your mindset from stuck to empowered
connection and a feeling of belonging

I’ll break these down for you into small habits that you can in your daily routine. They are practices that worked for me and that I still use to this day.

These habits help me stay focused on what matters and cut through the everyday noise. They helped me break out of burnout. And I hope you will try them out, because I am sure they will work for you as well.

1. Start with Gratitude

I’m sure you heard a lot of talk about the benefits of gratitude, but how does this work?

Studies have shown that practicing gratitude improves mental health, and reduces the incidence of negative emotions.

Here’s how it works:

reserve 5 minutes every morning for this practice, before you start your day. Make it non-negotiable
list 5 things you are grateful for in that moment.
try to appreciate aspects of your life that your are taking for granted.
make it specific. Instead of saying “I am grateful for my pet”, – what specifically is rewarding in your relationship with your pet? You could say “I am grateful for the cuddle session I had with my pet after I woke up”

Make this a habit, and in time you will notice you will become mentally stronger.

2. Go for a Walk

You’ve heard it a thousand times: exercise is good for your mental and physical health. But you are overworked, exhausted and busy like nobody’s business. You don’t have the energy to squeeze in an exercise routine.

But what if I told you that you can do it in a way that’s fun and relaxing?

Walking is exercise. It has actual benefits:

it gets the blood running, which is good for your heart
it strengthens your bones and your immune system
it helps you sleep better, which will improve your mood
it boosts your energy

And you don’t have to do a lot of it to see benefits. A half and hour long walk 3 times a week can do the trick. Although you will notice the benefits right away, and you’ll want to do more.

And if you think adding walks to your already busy schedule is not fun, I hear you. But the good think about walking is that you mind is free to do whatever it wants. If you can’t face the idea of letting your mind wander, I can see how that can be boring. Try listening to music that relaxes you. Or a podcast. Or an audiobook.

How do you find 30 minutes in your day? Easy: first check your app usage on your phone. My guess is there’s an app or two that take up a lot more than that every day. Could you replace scrolling with a walk every now and then?

3. Have Fun

If you are in burnout, chances are you forgot the meaning of the word fun a long time ago. You are too overwhelmed, you don’t have time for yourself because you are adulting. But this is exactly what’s going to help you break out of burnout.

Replace one of the boring activities with a pleasant one and see what happens. My guess is nothing. The world doesn’t end if you leave the dishes for tomorrow, or skip grocery shopping because you want to go out with a friend.

We make these concessions for our work all the time. We postpone daily tasks in our personal life to add more time to our work schedule. But we don’t do it for our mental health, were it matters.

You need to re-frame your thinking and re-shuffle your priorities. Your number one focus right now should be mental stability. Because without it, you won’t be able to do any of the tasks which now make up most of your day.

Go for a meal with a friend
Re-discover old hobbies
Watch a comedy special
Go on a night out, if that’s what you like
Go on a short trip this weekend

We need time out to rest, re-calibrate and re-charge. You can’t go around that, it’s how we’re built.

4. Practice Self Compassion

Have you noticed that when something goes wrong, you put yourself down?

It’s your fault for missing that deadline. You messed up by not organizing yourself better. You’re always making the same mistakes over and over. You’re not good enough. You promised yourself you would eat healthier. You could always do better.

Except you can’t do everything and do it perfectly. We compare ourselves with the best in everybody else and we find ourselves lacking. But success in one area does not mean success across the board. We keep ourselves to impossible standards.

Try practicing self compassion instead. Whenever the critical voice comes up, try to focus on the practical reasons why you are not perfect.

Make sure you talk to yourself the same way you would a good friend or a child. You will realise that you have been bullying yourself for years, or your whole life. We tend to see the mitigating circumstances in the people we love, but seldom in ourselves.

Give yourself a break. Remind yourself that you too are someone that you love. Be patient, be compassionate.

5. Connect with Others

You can’t do it all on your own. Also, you don’t have to.

Human beings are social animals, we evolved in communities and we need each other to survive. Studies have shown that loneliness raises your stress level, increases the risk for heart disease and dementia. Not only that, but social isolation is linked to early death.

Reach out to your friends and don’t feel ashamed to talk about your issues.
Get involved in your community. Volunteer, meet new people.
Talk to your neighbors
Call your loved ones more often
Schedule playtime and activities with your kids, if you have them

Take this seriously, because you can’t heal from anything without a support system. Make sure yours is a strong as possible.

Conclusion:

You can break out of burnout by starting with a few quick and easy changes to your everyday routine. You don’t have to turn your life upside down to be effective. Start focusing on your self care, one small step at a time.

Change your mindset, try to have some fun, cultivate relationships and the weight you are feeling will start to lift off.

Do these habits feel easy to implement in your daily life? Let me know in the comment section which one you would apply first.

Best Strategy to Begin Your Self Care Journey and Stick to It

If you want to begin your self care journey but don’t quite know where to start, don’t worry! You’ve come to the right place.

In this article, I will break down the process for you and guide you on your journey step by step.

Best Strategy to Begin Your Self Care Journey and Stick to It

Self care covers many aspects, like mental and physical health, community, purpose, rest and hobbies. There are plenty of areas which you can improve on, and you can’t do it all at once.

The best strategy is to break them down.

If you start with the easiest step first, you will build a strong and sustainable self care routine in no time. And you will stick to it!

Below is a step-by-step guide on how to begin your self care journey. It will be easy to incorporate in your daily life, and is customizable to your unique needs.

How to Begin Your Self Care Journey

Set Yourself Up For Success

Whenever you begin something new, it’s always a good idea to start with the easiest thing first. This builds confidence and motivates you to keep going.

When it comes to self care, no-one is starting from scratch. I mentioned earlier that there are several pillars to self care:

mental health
physical well-being
community
purpose
rest and hobbies

Chances are you are already have experience with one of these things, for example:

you used to work out at some point in your life;
you used to doodle in your free time, or you may have started a course on calligraphy a couple of years ago;
you volunteered when you were a student and found fulfillment in it.

The point is, self care can cover a lot of areas in your life. You have already lived some of it, so you have some experience and knowledge. Think about a time when you did something that felt rewarding, and start there!

Start Small

Let’s imagine you decided to begin your self care journey by focusing on physical health first. That covers a lot of ground: physical exercise, nutrition, sleep hygiene, preventative care, and so on.

Again, sounds overwhelming, right?

But what if you started with a 10 minute exercise routine 3 times a week? That’s doable.

It’s easy to find time for it. It doesn’t require you to change your everyday schedule or lifestyle, and it’s easy to do if you’re not in shape.

Does that make a difference?

Actually, yes. Any workout is better than no workout. But that’s not the point. You are starting small, because it builds habits and confidence. Soon, you will want to scale up. You will feel good abut it, and you will feel good in your own body. So you will make time for more. That’s how you grow.

Be Patient: Everything That Is Worthwhile Takes Time

When you begin your self care journey, please keep in mind: you will not see results right away. Your life will not change over night, and that should not be your goal.

Building up a new habit takes time, if you want it to be sustainable. So be patient. Trust me, you will see the results.

What happens if you fall off the wagon?

Nothing, you keep going. You skipped you workout routine of Wednesday? That’s okay, don’t stop. Be patient with yourself, because you are doing something new.

Re-adjusting takes time. Just because you didn’t exercise for a couple of weeks, does not mean you should give up. Go back into it, no shame. With every attempt, you will get better at it.

Build Around Your Small Habits

Great! Now that you exercise 3 times a week, you can add to it. You could extend your sessions to 15 minutes, instead of 10. Or you could decide to add an extra session.

Think of what works for you and what is feasible for you. Your goals should be achievable, otherwise your will feel overwhelmed.

When workout is part of your daily routine, you can start incorporating new things. For example, when is the last time you had a blood test? Can you schedule it? Did you have a dental check this year? Could you squeeze it in?

You could come up with a list of regular health checks. Plan them in the same month every year, so you’ll know: it’s January, time for my regular eye exam.

Add a New Level Of Difficulty

When your current habits are not a challenge anymore, you can add new elements to your self care. If you don’t have to make an effort about your workout routine, it’s time to focus on your nutrition.

Again, start with what you know. And if you think you don’t know the first thing about nutrition, you are wrong.

Most likely, you know that eating processed foods is bad for you. You could start by replacing two meals a week with cooked food. You don’t have to learn how to cook. The internet is full of easy recipes that anyone can make if you follow the instructions. Pick one or two and start there.

Educate Yourself

As you begin your self care journey, it’s important that you keep educating yourself.

What if I told you that learning is fun? I know, I know, your school days were either boring or hellish, or both. But those days are behind you. Because now you are learning something that interests you. You are putting in time towards your own well-being.

Start reading up on healthy eating. You’ll find yourself absorbed by the information. That’s because it interests you. We are interested in topics that concern us.

Learning is not only useful, but also rewarding. It expands your horizons, it helps you grow and develop, it shows you the way forward.

Take a few moments every week to study and then apply your leanings to your everyday life. You’ll love the person you become.

How to Stay Motivated on Your Self Care Journey

This Sounds Like a Lot of Work. How Do You Stay Motivated?

Easy: keep going. You give yourself permission to:

be imperfect
make mistakes
start over if you failed.

This is a lifetime commitment, you don’t need the threat of perfection looming over you.

Self care should be fun and rewarding.

A rigid attitude will only make your goals feel like homework. If you give yourself space for mistakes, you are giving yourself space for growth.

Conclusion

Remember, you are in it for the long haul. What you are doing may seem small in the beginning, but you are growing all the time.

Your goal is not to be a different person tomorrow. It is to look back in a year’s time and marvel at how much you have grown. This is only possible if the habits you are instilling are sustainable.

Be patient, trust yourself. You’ve got this!