Category: Lifestyle

Did you know that people with strong social connections have a 50% increased chance of longevity? Yet in our hyperconnected world, maintaining genuine relationships whilst protecting our emotional wellbeing can feel like walking a tightrope.

In this article, we will explore a few social self care tips to nurture our social connections without depleting our energy reserves. From setting healthy boundaries to cultivating meaningful interactions, these social self care strategies will help you create a more balanced and fulfilling social life.

Understanding Social Self Care and Why It Matters

Social self care is the practice of intentionally nurturing and maintaining social connections. It’s an essential component of self care and directly responsible for your overall wellbeing.

People with healthy social connections are less likely to suffer with mental illness, are better adjusted and tend to live longer on average. Social interactions are necessary for our mental health.

We developed in tribes, we depend on communities, we are social animals. Isolation can give you a sense of insecurity and exacerbate anxiety. So you need to have a strong support system and a feeling of belonging to feel safe and thrive.

Unfortunately, the demands of our modern lifestyle make it more and more difficult to create – or even maintain – strong, reliable relationships. We are always too busy, caught between endless responsibilities, which leave us no time to catch up with friends or engage in social activities.

Because social interaction is not an immediate need, we tend to overlook it.

Our time is divided between the efforts to put a roof over our heads and the need to look after our families. Our attention is caught by different social media platforms. We are so exhausted by the end of the day, that we decide to postpone social activities for later, when we feel we will have more time.

But this time never comes, as every day looks the same. And before you know it, your friendships are reduced to exchanging memes and empty conversations over instant messaging apps.

Investing attention and time in social self care is the best way to invest in your overall health and claim back control over your life.

Essential Social Self Care Tips for Everyday Life

So how do you make time for a social life when you already feel depleted with everyday challenges? Here are a few social self care tips you can apply to improve your relationships.

Create realistic social schedules that prevent burnout

We’ve all been there: we decided that we needed to make a change starting tomorrow, and then we went all in. This is how burnout happens. No matter how much you want to, or how good you think something is for you, you can’t implement a big change overnight. You can’t do it all. Nor should you.

If you didn’t have much of a social life, jumping into it every day and creating a demanding social schedule is not realistic. Try to implement changes gradually, while considering your other needs, as well as honouring your personal limitations.

I confess I definitely did this after I read about the negative effects of social isolation: I set up a draconian schedule, where I had to socialise daily. I put so much pressure on myself, that I was exhausted after only a week.

If you’re used to going out once a month, start by increasing it to twice a month. Socialising should be pleasant, not energy-draining. It’s also a good idea to do a life audit and see if there is something you do every day and doesn’t quite serve you.

Like if you watch Netflix and hour every day, it might be useful to replace one of those hours in the week for social self care. This way, you won’t feel like you are piling on another task into an already busy schedule.

Another thing is to know yourself. If you’re not the type of person who enjoys going to parties, you don’t have to go. There are other ways to socialise. You don’t have to exhaust yourself physically and mentally over something that doesn’t bring you any joy. Choose outdoor activities instead, like having a picnic, or going to outdoor yoga classes.

Master the art of saying ‘no’ without guilt

If you feel tired, or not up to it, feel free to say no. Many of us are afraid to refuse, because we think we might be perceived as rude. But in reality, people aren’t nearly as preoccupied with our actions as we seem to think. Most of the time, they just gloss over it. We are the ones beating ourselves up in the middle of the night over something that everybody else forgot a long time ago.

It’s also important to remember that you are the owner of your own time, and it’s your right to say no. Don’t worry, your friends will not get mad if you skip drinks one week because you aren’t feeling that social. And if they do, what kind of friends are they, anyway?

Learn to set and communicate personal boundaries

When it comes to social self care tips, one of the most overlooked is learning to communicate your boundaries. Social self care isn’t about being a social butterfly. It’s also about knowing when to tax that which is not serving you.

Setting personal boundaries is something that sounds scary, but once you get the hang of it, it’s actually quite easy. If you have that pesky friend who keeps calling late in the evening to vent about their day, find the right moment and ask them to stop.

When enforcing boundaries, the trick is to be able to give an alternative as well. For example:

“I understand that venting is important for you, and I want to be a good friend to you. But I don’t have the mental energy give you my full attention late in the evening. Should we do this Saturday morning over coffee instead?”

This way:

• you are limiting the unwanted behaviour to once a week instead of nightly,
• you are moving it to a time you are better equipped to deal with it in a healthy manner, and
• you are addressing and enforcing your boundaries.

Don’t worry, adults are able to deal with their own feelings. Disappointment and rejection are also part of healthy relationships, and we have all learnt to regulate them.

So by enforcing your boundaries, you are not causing a big catastrophe, and you will not lose any friends. You will just teach them to respect you, and encourage them to be more open and honest with you as well.

Building Meaningful Connections Through Self-Aware Socialising

Identify qualities of healthy relationships

Another essential aspect of social self care is being able to identify the difference between meaningful connections and unhealthy relationships. Not everyone you spend time with is a real friend.

Friendship is actually based on trust, empathy and respect. If any of these ingredients is missing, you should question the quality of that relationship and whether or not it is serving you. Since there is very little time and energy left in our day for a social life, you should make sure that at least the interactions you have are beneficial.

Trust is healthy in a friendship; manipulation is not

Open communication is healthy; gossip is not

Reciprocity is healthy; one-sided-ness is not

A sense of security within your relationship is healthy; fear of reprisal is not

Boundaries are healthy; self-serving behaviour is not

Disagreement is healthy; fights are not

Respect is healthy; disrespect is not

Support is healthy; undermining or ignoring the other person is not

Honest feedback is healthy; sycophantic behaviour is not

Accountability is healthy; dismissive excuses are not

Constructive criticism is healthy; mockery is not

Always learn to pause and ask yourself how you feel about a relationship, a conversation or someone’s behaviour towards you.

• Did it make you feel uncomfortable? And if so, why?
• Was their intention to help, or hinder you?
• Are their words coming form a place of love and respect, or form that of hurt?
• Are they helping you see your shortcomings, or are they lashing out?

Practise authentic communication

And while you’re at it, don’t forget to be just as critical towards yourself. Too often we fall into unhealthy patterns without realising it. We can display toxic behaviours as well. That’s why it’s so important to have real friends, who are able to hold you accountable.

Be open to criticism, real friends can be the mirror you need to see yourself from the outside, without the veil of excuses we all have.

Be honest and demand honesty in return.

Cultivate deeper connections with existing friends

If you feel like there’s no time to develop new friendships, you are right. Most adults are friends with the people they met in high school or university, and the reason is very simple: we had way more time back then.

Making new friends requires a lot of time spent together, earning trust, learning things about each other, creating memories together. When you work 12 hours a day, it’s a bit hard to find time for that.

But chances are, you already have a bunch of friends that you can reach out to. Regardless how superficial that relationship is, you can always go deeper.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to people you haven’t spoke with in a long time, even years. They will most likely be happy to hear from you. And I’m willing to bet the reason for the relationship coiling off is lack of time, a more demanding schedule and new priorities.

One of the best social self care tips out there is this: re-kindle those connections where the foundation is already set, reach out to those people where there already is common ground.

Only this time, try to be more open. Try to have deeper conversations, to establish a deeper connection with this person. Don’t worry about being misunderstood or judged. They are probably holding back for the same reason. When you show vulnerability, people usually respond in the same way.

Digital Detox and Social Media Boundaries

I mentioned earlier that social media is taking up a lot of our time, which we could be using for social self care. And our addiction to the digital world is worrying: did you know that the average person spends over 7 hours a day staring at screens?

The negative effects of excessive screen time have been well documented, so why not replace some of this screen time with social self care activities? Start tracking your app usage. Is there an app you are using more than 30 minutes a day? If the answer is yes, try to cut back on that.

A lot of social media apps have the option to set limits for yourself. Make use of this awesome feature, it’s your best friend in your digital detox journey. If you feel this isn’t enough, you can uninstall the app completely. You are less likely to spend hours on Instagram when the only way you can access it is via a laptop.

Create boundaries for online communication and be more mindful of online engagement. As absorbing as it might be, online socialising is not as rewarding as face-to-face interactions. Your online friends, while they serve a purpose, are not your real friends. Try to comment less, and go out in the real world more.

Check out this article for more ideas on creating a digital detox routine:

Nurturing Relationships Without Depleting Your Energy

One last thing: while cultivating relationships is essential for social self care, don’t forget to make time for yourself too. Alone time is also essential for our emotional wellbeing. Depending on how much of an introvert you are, you may require more or less. But don’t feel guilty for taking time off to recharge your batteries.

Find a good balance between alone time and social activities. Take the time to know yourself and understand your unique needs, and adapt your social self care routine to fit them.

There is no universal recipe, we are different and we all have different needs. Understand that knowing yourself is a process, that involves trial and error. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.

Conclusion

Remember, taking care of your social wellbeing doesn’t mean being available 24/7 or saying yes to every invitation. It’s about creating meaningful connections while honouring your own needs and boundaries.

Start implementing these social self care tips today, and watch how they transform both your relationships and your personal wellbeing.

Your social battery – and your friends – will thank you for it!

When we hear about self care, it’s often in relation to personal routines like skincare or relaxation techniques. However, there’s another crucial aspect of self care that’s often overlooked: social self care. But what is social self care exactly?

It’s about the practices you can add to improve your social interactions. It’s the habits that help you maintain healthy, supportive relationships. The main pillars of social self care are:

• prioritizing meaningful connections with others
• nurturing friendships
• being part of a community

In this simple guide, we’ll explore what social self care is and why it’s important. We will also look into practical ways to incorporate it into your life.

So let’s zoom in on these aspects one by one.

What Is Social Self Care

Social self care is the practice of intentionally nurturing and maintaining social connections. This supports your mental and emotional wellbeing. It goes beyond just spending time with others. It’s about engaging in relationships that are meaningful and positive.

What is social self care exactly?

It involves making choices that prioritize your social needs, such as:

• seeking healthy and uplifting connections with others
• maintaining meaningful friendships
• prioritizing relationships with people who make you feel valued and understood
• setting boundaries with people who drain your energy

Why Is Social Self Care Important

We are social animals. So we can’t overlook the importance of our social connections in our lives.

Numerous studies have shown that loneliness can lead to:

• Long-term health issues. The stress of social isolation increases inflammation in the body and impairs your immune system. The impact of social isolation on your health is very similar to that of smoking or living with obesity.
• “Fight-or-flight” stress response. Loneliness can also activate your nervous system.
• Cognitive decline. Prolonged periods of loneliness increase the risk of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.
• Exacerbated mental illness. Social support plays a significant role in mental health. If you are already suffering with mental illness, isolation will worsen it. Even healthy individuals need a support system. We are meant to live in tribes, and we feel safe when we belong to something bigger than ourselves.
• Shorter lifespan. Social isolation can increase your risk of death to a similar degree as smoking.

Types of Social Self Care

Now let’s get into the practical side of things. Let’s have a look at the different types of social self care and how you can incorporate them in your day-to-day life.

Cultivating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about social self care is healthy relationships. The way we interact with and relate to the people in our lives has a crucial role in our social self care. We need a strong support system to thrive.

You might have noticed that relationships grow more difficult as you age. You have a full schedule, a busy day at home, family, chores, responsibilities. Somehow time seems to shrink. And your relationships are the first to suffer.

But it’s important to make an effort if you want to have a healthy emotional life. You need to book time for your relationships, just as you put time aside for your job or household chores.

Make sure you spend quality time with all your loved ones. Do things together, like going to the cinema or cooking. Have meaningful conversations, check in with each other. Take time to listen to them and understand what they are coming from. Share your own personal struggles and ask for advice. Be authentic and curious, stay connected.

We tend to overlook our relationships with our immediate family. Maybe because it feels like they’re always there. But the quality of these relationships can decrease if we don’t maintain them properly.

So here’s a checklist of relationships you should not overlook. Make sure you take the time and nourish these relationships:

• your parents, grandparents
• your partner/spouse
• your children
• your regular friends
• new people you have met and would like to have as friends
• work besties (if you have them)

All of these relationships require your commitment. Otherwise, your social life will deteriorate and become a source of stress.

Prioritizing Meaningful Connections

It’s easy to look at your address book, or social media, and think you have a lot of friends. We interact and socialize with a lot of people every day. We have casual conversations with our coworkers, chat with our neighbours, write on social media with people we have never met.

But these kinds of connections are based on surface-level interactions. They don’t provide genuine support or emotional nourishment.

Social self care is about relationships built on trust, vulnerability and mutual respect. These relationships should provide a strong support system.

So make sure to plan some time with your real friends. Those friends you feel comfortable sharing your insecurities with. Or the friends who have similar interests with you. Ask them about their life or their hobbies. Start deep conversations that help you both know each other.

If you don’t know where to begin with meaningful conversations, try planning an activity together. Do something together that is important for you. The conversation will start naturally. For example, if you are passionate about the environment, suggest a nature walk together. It’s so much easier to spark a conversation about your favourite subject in this environment.

Community Engagement

The next step in your social self care practice is that feeling of belonging to a community. We are not islands. We are part of tribes, groups of people. Feeling that we are part of something bigger than ourselves is a basic need; we are happy when we connect with like-minded people.

It could be:

In your neighbourhood

• Get to know your neighbours
• Get involved in your neighbourhood activities
• Start an initiative for the problems you want to solve in your immediate community.
• Inspire your neighbours to collaborate and help each other.

Offline activities

• Find a club or a group of people who support your hobbies. Exchange knowledge and opinions with like-minded people.
• Go to events or activities that support your interests.

Community work / Giving back

Find a cause that in important to you, and volunteer. You will meet new people, connect with people who have the same values as you. And you will feel good about yourself.

A sense of purpose is essential to our emotional wellbeing, and very few people have it these days. In a world where everything is about efficiency and productivity, we forget to pause and reflect on our role. We do have an impact on our world and community, whether we like ti or not. So make sure it’s a positive one!

It’s not a waste of time to “work for free”. You gain something that is invaluable: perspective, connection, and purpose. You contribute to something that’s bigger than you, you make the world a better place. It’s so rewarding!

Habits for Social Self Care

Before I wrap up, I’d like to share with you a few ideas for habits you could adopt to improve your social life. These are tips that have helped me with my social self care routine. I hope you will find something you can add to your daily life.

• Weekly reminders to call your parents, grandparents etc. It only takes a few minutes of your time. But to them it’s priceless. And you will see your relationship improve.
• Join a club that requires regular attendance. This will force you to commit to this self are habit, because it won’t be as easy to find excuses to postpone.
• Make a habit of checking in with friends on a certain day of the week. I am quite forgetful when it comes to checking in with friends, so I actually book it in my agenda. For instance, Tuesdays are check-in days with Bella. So every Tuesday I’m reminded to drop her a message or call.
• Once a month organize a get-together with your closest friends. Cook dinner, movie night, go to a concert or comedy show.
• Organize your vacations with friends. If you have a friend you don’t see often since you’re both always busy, consider booking a vacation together. You get to see each other in a less stressful environment, when you aren’t always on the run. And you get to spend quality time together.
• Go to the gym with a friend, or find a class you can do together. This way, you can see each other more often, while sharing an activity.
• Make house calls cool again. People used to drop by all the time. It’s true that we are busier these days and don’t have the time for unexpected calls. But we need to normalize visiting each other’s homes. One of the main reasons people don’t go out as much is because it’s expensive. So why not stay at home? After all, the goal is to see your friends. You really don’t need a fancy restaurant for that.
• End of day check-in with your partner/spouse. We are so busy that we tend to overlook the relationships that are closest to us. We get into a routine and, because we see each other every day, we think that’s enough. But this is not true. Every relationship needs to be nurtured, including that with your significant other. Take a few minutes at the end of the day to check in with each other, talk about your day, give each other advice and support. After all, you are partners in life.

These are just a few ideas of small habits you can incorporate in your day to improve your relationships. They have worked for me. If you have suggestions of other useful habits, please feel free to share them in the comments. I would love to hear form you, and we could all benefit from new tips and tricks.

If you want to learn more about self care, you can check out this article: on the 7 pillars of emotional self care: